How to scare 80 pigeons

Have you ever tried to scare a herd of wild pigeons? Technically, I realize that a group of pigeons is not a herd, but the word herd associated with this bird, helps me to toss to the wind the stereotype of pigeon as dumb, boring and just plain odd. Saying, “a herd of wild pigeons” carries a toughness that they probably don’t deserve, since the herd I recently tried this with are fed by a human everyday. Though while I was in the middle of the interview, a goshawk did swoop down in the middle of the street and fly away with one of the poor birds, so they do face their fair share of wild predators.

If you’ve never tried to make a pigeon fly, be forewarned that when these birds are nervous they tend to relieve themselves from their hind ends. And if you are standing below them, doing your best Freddy Kruger imitation, this tends to make them nervous, so be prepared to dodge a few stray pigeon bullets.

Last week I interviewed a man named Dick about a place in Fairbanks where a flock of nearly 80 pigeons spend their days. The birds sit atop several electric wires, everyday, waiting, waiting, waiting, for food, courtesy of Dick. To complete the story, I wanted to include a few sound bites of flying and cooing. So I asked my friend Brad, a former college roommate turned professional improvisation specialist (see the On Your Feet website) who was in town leading a workshop, to help me make these pigeons fly on command. While he was doing his best to motivate them to move on up, the plan was that I would record the sound of them flying away, while also photographing the spectacle. Above is what they looked like after the take-off and here is what the whole thing sounded like: default.aspx?fldr=2008052509&fl=ScaringPigeons.mp3&vfl=ScaringPigeons.mp3&disposition=inline Stay tuned for the Soundslides interview with Dick, the pigeon feeder. It should post in the next few days.

Remod Pod features laboring lovebirds

There is a couple I know who have been working diligently all winter to finish the lower level of their house. Often they work through their weekends and sometimes on weekday evenings, wiring pathways of electrical, framing walls of two by four studs, or sealing in the vapor barrier with something called “black death.” They have earned many bruises from wood gone awry or a hammer to the hip. There are days that their work requires they be covered with dust and have to wear masks to protect their lungs. Sometimes the tools they use are so loud that headphones are needed to save their hearing. They continue to plod away, nail by nail, piece by piece, with diligence, focus and always humor, thriving in the simple fact that their hard work is slowly creating a place to call their own.

Here is my first attempt at podcasting. This week The Remod Pod tells the story of a couple who are nearing the end of an addition project that has spanned the length of their relationship.

Gather ye human birds, enjoy the spring

Enjoy the Spring of Love and Youth,
to some good angel leave the rest;
For Time will teach thee soon the truth,
there are no birds in last year’s nest!

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

As I stood this weekend amidst a motley flock of human bird impersonators—consisting of an upright oystercatcher, horned grebe, penguin, blue jay, flamingo, greater yellowlegs, common loon, arctic tern, violet-green swallow, and other wannabe wings—I realized this was more than just a costume party. This birthday gathering of feathered fake fowl was a call out, a sentry of sorts. Though we were mostly just mimics, standing amidst a group of bird personae made me think of times past and the possibilities of what’s to come.

While the party attire requested dressing as one’s favorite migratory bird, of course there were some avian fringe in attendance, including a human birdwatcher, a snowbird live from Tucson, and a man with a cardboard cutout around his face in the shape of a hand flipping “the bird”. Their rebel spirits only added to the mix. Even if the mammal blue jay was garbed simply—no beak and just blue clothes, except for the letter J duct-taped to his sweatshirt—the vague likeness of each of these bird portraits still elicited a few vivid memories.

Like the time when I was three, my family and I ate in Denali Park after picking blueberries, and a hoard of stealth camp robbing jays persisted and insisted on stealing anything to do with lunch. And a war-like walk on the tundra once, with my spastic pup Jack and a deranged parasitic jaeger, who dive bombed at us, in fierce protection of her young. Finally, a fishing trip into Pegati Lake where we were greeted in the early morning by a loon couple, obvious mates for life, yodeling and dancing as if they were in their own private bedroom.

More than anything, this group of human fliers unknowingly carried on their imaginary wings a clear sense of hope. They reminded me that the Creamer’s Field bird B&B will soon open its doors for another season of winged visitors. And I think I can hear sandhill cranes and Canadian geese now, the faint graceful swish of their wings freely flapping, as they make their final approach towards summer.

Clutter weighing you down? Try FARTing

Vernal equinox is just a few weeks away and that means spring, a time for rebirth, burgeoning love and, yes, cleaning! This leads me to the question of what to do with those piles of papers that seem to have had babies and multiplied during the winter? Let me share a little spruce up secret. When I spy a disorganized pile (or room full) of papers wasting precious space and messing with my flowering ch’i, I immediately take the time to stop and FART.

In this particular case, FARTing (also known as RAFTing or TRAFing) is a system of paper management that simply requires a three tray organizer and a trash can (or paper shredder or recycling bin). The process guarantees that any piece of paper that flies through the door, easily lands in one of the following four categories, leaving any budding organizer with clearly defined trays of paper and some clarity. Here are the categories:

1. File This type of paper has been read, acted upon, and can be put in the tray of papers to be transferred later to an “underground” filing system, such as a filing cabinet.
2. Action This type of paper, such as a bill that needs to be paid on time, is put in a tray that you will take action on very soon.
3. Read This type of paper, such as a new magazine, can be put in one of the three trays and read at a later time.
4. Trash This type of paper is no longer needed, so can be thrown away, recycled or shredded. An example of this would be a magazine that’s already been read or junk mail.

May your springtime sails be set free and fueled and by the wind of FART…

What does feng shui have to do with my wart?

Are you one of those people who think that feng shui (pronounced fuhng shwey) is a pseudoscience for free love Mac users who wear clogs, handmade beaded earrings and follow astrology? If so, in the spirit of opening our minds this winter to new and mysterious subjects, let me share with you a brief story about a pesky wart.

One time when I was sixteen I had an ugly wart on my foot. At the time my dad told me that if I rubbed the wart with half of a raw potato and then put that potato under the rain spout, my wart would go away. My dad did have a sharp sense of humor and I’m certain he was pulling my scrawny leg at the time. Regardless, I tried this and the day after I put the potato under the rain spout, my wart disappeared. Maybe my wart would’ve disappeared without any russet. Maybe the act of rubbing that baker on my wart actually caused it to physically disappear. Or, maybe simply believing the potato would bring a cure caused my brain to create physical healing. Whatever the cause, I haven’t had a wart since, and if I do in the future, I’m definitely grabbing a spud.

That being said, just because something hasn’t been proven in a scientific way, doesn’t mean that it might not be simply fabulous. Take love for instance. Magical love doesn’t always make sense and sometimes we don’t understand how exactly it works, but that doesn’t mean it’s not divine and incredibly helpful in this life.

My westerner’s take on feng shui, the Chinese art of creating harmonious surroundings to enhance the balance of yin and yang in one’s life, is that it’s like a metaphysical father that asks, “What are your intentions in this life?” And then, instead of offering a blessing, feng shui shows a physical reminder of those intentions everyday. By placing, in one’s surroundings, objects and colors that represent an individual’s aspirations and desires, the hope is that these daily physical reminders assist one in manifesting their intentions through action.

So, is your karma mixed up with your dogma? Have you lost touch with your inner leopard? Or do you just want a wart to go away? Whatever the the questions, stay tuned for a quick three-step guide to discovering your very own feng shui fix.

“How do you breathe?”

Let me share a quick story about the idea of breathing. There was a time I traveled in Africa and was sitting at a train station outside of Johannesburg. There was a South African man sitting next to me, sitting in a suit with a briefcase and study books. We began a friendly conversation. He soon discovered that I was from Alaska. “Alaska!” he proclaimed, stating and asking at the same time, “It is very cold in Alaska, yes?” Then in complete seriousness continued his inquiry with the very wise question, “How do you breathe?” It was beyond his sub-Saharan speculation how it could be possible to actually breathe in such a cold place. A very reasonable question for a man whose world view included walls made from grass, open air windows and 110 degrees in the shade.

Since then there have been several times when I ask myself his same question, with slight modifications. Usually this question pops on my radar when it’s forty below outside and I am standing in my driveway, plugging in my truck, wondering, “How in the hell do I breathe right now?” With that in mind, this blog is dedicated to the notion of breathing, surviving and actually thriving when it’s wintertime in Fairbanks.

Thriving through a Fairbanks winter involves the art of brain tricking (sometimes known as denial), until the next thing you know, it’s May again. And one of these tricks for me involves going often to the Bahamas—at least in my mind. This is a trick that Steve Martin teaches about 4 minutes into The Absent Minded Waiter . “Going to the Bahamas” means not taking life too seriously, remembering to laugh, and always trying new things.